Ahhhh the online profile. Some people really get it, while others just don’t. Here are some of the biggest mistakes we make when dating online:
1. You Forgo a Photo
If you are nervous, embarrassed, or ashamed to be looking for love online, then you are not ready to date online. Ask your friends or relatives to set you up with someone; sign up for speed dating events; or take up a new activity.
Humans are visual creatures, therefore your photo is not just a photo but a story in itself. Great potential matches could be passing you up because they are in a double-blind situation– they’ve never met you and have no idea what you look like.
2. Your Photo is Frumpy/Not Flattering/ Weird
Don’t be weird. Save that for month 2 of the relationship like every other self-respecting human being. Tempted to post a photo of you humping a teddy bear? STOP. Weird does not belong in a place where you are trying to find a potential mate. If your profile isn’t sexy and a little mysterious– start over.
3. You Don’t Spell Out What You Want
The best online profiles give their potential dates clear directions. Spell out what you’d like to see in their message. Example: “Say hello and throw in a compliment if you’re feeling generous.” Write out what your idea of a great date is and what your non-negotiables are. Example: “Must be open minded and gluten tolerant.”
Being upfront about what you’re looking for will help get you more of the types of matches you’re looking for, instead of it being a free-for-all.
4. You Expect Everyone to Just Know You’re Amazing Without Having an Amazing Profile
For some reason, dating online is just as much work as dating in real-life. Which is why having an incomplete profile or one that clearly lacks thought is a waste of space.
Put in the work your profile needs by posting more than one photo, telling potential dates what you want, and being clear about what you don’t want.
5. You Keep the Relationship Online
Connecting solely online without ever meeting in person is not a healthy course for a new, budding relationship. It is important to go from online, to phone, to in-person in a reasonable amount of time. Fear often accounts for the reasons why people don’t want to meet in person. Or they may be hiding something. Getting over this hurdle is an important step in moving the relationship forward and not wasting time.
6. You Lie
A gross misrepresentation of who you are online is destructive and violates an already fragile trust. Posting a doctored photo or photos of someone else entirely and lying about your education and where you work are all deal-breakers. When you’re tempted to embellish a lot, keep in mind most people don’t give second chances when their first impression of you is that you’re a liar.
7. You Over Do It
Online dating is a numbers game, but going on several dates a week is online dating on steroids. It can mean you’re casting a wide net instead of really drilling down on what you want. Make sure your potential dates meet your basic standards, then proceed with caution.